When I grow up I want to be an Astronaught

When I grow up I just want to roll
From one Experience to the next without having a Goal

When I grow up I just want to evolve into a person not defined just by their job or their role.
When I grow up I want to sell drugs on the side and never get caught

When I grow up I want to be an Astronaut with a lot of Good friends and a family to support
When I grow up I want to be an Astronaut with no friends other than the tv I bought

When I grow up I want to be an Astronaut, anything after that is an after though


Now just because I did not become an Astronaut that does not mean I have failed
It simply means the ambitions of a kid at school can be restricted and a little one dimensional
We are encouraged to pick a job in which we seek success instead of thinking about what we really need for happiness so our goal becomes that job title and anything less is defined a failure and that, to me is quite hard to digest.


True happiness does not come from the job you do
When I grow up I just want to Evolve into a person not defined just by their job or their role


No matter what job you choose, it does not change you as a person
When I grow up I want to be an Astronaut
Selling drugs on the side and not getting caught


When I grow up I want to be an Astronaut
Drained of all my life not locking tired and gaunt
We all die

The day I tried to live (Happy Blog, for once_

I'm sick of starting with ("I havent blogged in a while") so lets just get into this shall we?

Well Bloggers, after being the most useless bastard for more than a year now. I did it, I am doing something with my life

I am going to Belfast to do a Foundation Degree in Games Development. The feeling of self worth is pretty good, if a little daunting

But that leaves the big question, do I regret the past couple of years. In short. No.

One of the reasons is this time off give me time to get my head back together and decide what I wanted to do with my life

Also, i had a fucking blast. But now I shall have a blast, but in Belfast.

Pretty short entry today. Just thought i'd chronicle "The day I tried to live"

Roger Ebert

It's times like these I wish I was a more popular blogger, because I really would love nothing more than for Roger Ebert to read this.

Ok let's get some things out of the way

1. I in no way approve of drunk driving

Well yeah. That's about it I think. For anyone who doesn't know, Roger Ebert is a critic and a screenwriter. He battled Cancer and the world would be no worse off if he had of lost. Oh yeah, this blog may be filled with some hate. Why? Because I fucking hate Roger Ebert.

I first heard of him when he said video games can never be art. Then when I was reading reviews of movies I enjoyed that stupid bastards face kept popping up. For example criticising Leon for having a 12 year old Natalie Portman in the middle of an action movie, when that was what the fucking movie was about. It wasn't a pure action movie you stupid fuck. It's point was that Children have no place among action. 

Look at that stupid fuck.

So recently Ebert decided to make a comment about Ryan Dunn's pre mature death. And how it was linked to a Drunk driving. Why did he do this? Why did he go out and make this offensive comment when so many fans across the world were showing nothing but love? The only reason I can think of is extra fame. Followers on Twitter, why else would you make such an out there comment on Twitter?

Which completely contradicts his statement to Charlie Sheen earlier this year. "I could get 2 million followers on twitter but then i'd be a sad lonely loser like Charlie Sheen". Fuck you. First of all Charlie sheen didn't go mental to get followers on twitter, secondly your a hypocritical stupid fuck.

You can't criticize someone elses attempts to get followers on twitter then go and make sick jokes over twitter  and expect not to receive mountains of hate. Now while i'd be lying if I said I don't enjoy sick jokes about nearly everything. I am not Roger Ebert, nor is me laughing at a joke going to directly affect the familys and friends of the person i'm talking about.

I also admit i'm a little biased here due to my love of Ryan Dunn and my hatred of Roger Ebert

R.I.P Ryan Dunn. Even though he's famous for immature antics he was one of my hero's growing up

Fuck you Roger Ebert

No, I cannot forgive you yet

I've been naming my blog after lyrics, but the title of this one should be "Drugs", but "I should of known" by Foo Fighters basically sums it up

Now first of all my opinion on drugs. Marijuana is not a drug. No it's not, shut up, nope, no no no. "It's a plant that grows in the dirt, and if you just so happen to set it on fire, there are some effects" - Katt Williams.

But even it has fucked with a few of my friends heads. But nothing too serious, just paranoia, but I still think they're just pretending. Now alot of people can go on about how this is a serious problem. It isn't, no one has ever over dosed on Grass. Have people over dosed on Alcohol? Fuck yes they have. Have medically prescribed drugs ever killed someone? Fuck yes they have.

But that's not what this blog is about, when I say "Drugs" i'm mostly going to be talking about methadrone (Meow meow), (Not Methadone), (This is alot of brackets)

The problem with this drug is it's new, no one knows what the long term effects are. So basically it could just start a timer that after you take it you die 7 days later, to the day. That day Kilkeel will be halfed in population.

But not even long term effects, i'm talking about people I used to be good friends with who have lost their fucking mind. I decided to catch up with one the other week and here's the exact message I recieved

"none of that meth or anything anymore cause it fucked with my head you should see the cut of me im all scrawny and look rotten and ive ot white hair now i turned into a chav cause of all them drugs lol minced"

Or from another friend

"Nah bai, I can't really go anywhere anymore, brain is fried can't deal with people"

Both these people were on meth again within a week. What the clean fuck. THAT is a drug. Grass is not. See the difference, slight paranoia to drug debt, change of appearance, loss of friends.

I know it's a long road till grass is made legal, but it at least could not be classified the same as Meth or coke or Heroine.

Shit, that was serious, better add a funny picture

lol

As the future repeats itself (Blog from the future)

This is a blog about gaming

Now off to the future

I'm really glad that back in 2011 Eidos (One of my favourite gaming companies) decided to stick firm to only having a single player in Arkham City. It set a trend to other gaming companies to stop taking up so much space on a disk and time developing a shitty online mode they just threw in to give it more appeal to retards.

That's what I hope to be saying. This anger is coming from the news that "Guitar hero and true crime are crime are to be cancelled". Article here


True Crime Hong Kong was a game that seemed to be bringing new game mechanics to a sandbox. Free running, shooting while driving, movie style driving and others. It seemed like a really well put together fun game that I couldn't wait to play. 
Then it was cancelled
Now this was quite an annoying thing to happen, but the thing that really annoys me about this is the following sentence. 

"An Activision press release stated that the cancellation of both True Crime and Guitar Hero was due to "the desire to focus on the greatest opportunities that the company currently has to create the world's best interactive entertainment experiences." Activision will now be focusing -- as if it hadn't already been -- on the Call of Duty franchise"


FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK
Call of duty you motherfuckers. 
Fuck Call of duty
It can suck a million dicks for all I care
Online play is not as fun as you might think COD when you don't fucking change anything about it


Don't get me wrong, it's not an awful game. Well, Modern Warfare wasn't an awful game. Fuck Black ops sucked. And so did Modern warfare 2.And don't get me started on World at War


No, the thing that annoys me about this sentence is that they're trying to make people believe they're working on COD to give us the best experience.


NO. That's the opposite, you know you can do fuck all to COD and still make millions, whilst making an actual entertaining game like True crime may be less profitable, which is ok, but stop trying to make yourselves out to be dead on


Generic first person cover based shooters should be banned for a minimum of a year to make way for actually good games


Thank fuck portal 2's out next week

What a nice long leash, what a nice tight noose. Never worked for me but, sure would look good on you

I hate people
Not all people, I would consider myself to be a person with a large group of friends, I just hate how fucking stupid some people can be.

There's this person, we're going to call it Able
Fuck I hate Able, Able is a twisted fucking asshole that represents everything wrong in people.
I genuinely hope Able dies. Now, Able knows full well that I feel like this. I can't remember why I ever gave Able a chance, but I really regret it.

Now this would be ok, if Able wouldn't stop fucking showing up at everywhere I drink and saying the same stupid fucking phrases
"Can we be friends now?"
"Are we aloud to speak?"
"Are you aloud to speak to me?"
NO. Fuck off. I don't want anything to do with you, when I see you my mood drops.

Ables only an example of a long line of people I fucking despise. I used to be the kind of person that if they didn't like someone they'd be friendly anyway to avoid any sort of conflict.
I take the opposite approach

When I don't like someone, they know it. I find it more, honest. Than going about bitching and moaning about how your friend did this and that. get a new friend and fuck off.

Fight Club/ New Blog

I forgot how much I love the movie Fight Club. Last night me and my friend skeb sat down to watch some Fight Club because he never seen it, and the movie could send someone completely insane. It gives me pretty awesome ideas though

Like for example, if I ever came to the point I was going to kill myself. I could spend my days becoming a serial killer who targets Pedophiles, Rapists, Men who abuse woman and of course, people who own apple macs.

To send out a message, it's not ok to own apple macs, or the rest, and hopefully scare the rest out of there crimes. But that's just a democratic dream. To essentially become a super hero. Which brings me too another movie. Kickass

Kickass was definitely one of my favourite movies of last year if not the best, as well as Book of Eli, Scott Pilgrim and  From Paris with Love. (Note how I didn't say Inception, because it wasn't that god damned good. If you want a complex movie that's actually good, watch the usual suspects). Kickass also sort of played with this idea that anyone could be a super hero.

What i'm trying to say is, if I don't get a job soon i'm going to start murdering some people. And that's why i'm making a seperate blog from this. I really couldn't give this blog a category, it's really just rants, ramblings, ideas and some music. Oh and a review of Oddyssey.

But this blog will just be about how fucking impossible it is to get a job round here. And how much the dole sucks. And the good bits as well like sitting in my garden drinking beer (Got to make the most of it).

Yeah i'm gonna go work on that now

Hipsters

Luckily, I live in Northern Ireland, so I thought I was safe from this stupid fucking trend. But just like I thought I was saved from other trends like chavs, emos and the rest, I was wrong.

I was at a gig recently and I was at the bar, so I decided to talk to the guy next to me also waiting to be served. I didn't notice his thick rimmed glasses, ridiculous haircut or just douche bag ness.

So anyway, I asked "Enjoying the gig?". Which is really one of those questions like "Here to piss?" in the toilets. Of course the reply was "Nah, not really my thing"

"Oh what's your thing then?"

"Ah, 10,000 maniacs and like em REM"

"I love REM, except everybody hurts" I replied

"Oh I like there other stuff"

"Like orange crush?"

""No much different"

So I went out on a limb here, to try see if this guy was a genuine lover of unheard of REM songs, or just being a COCK.

"Purple Haze?" I asked

"Yeah more like that"

"THATS A JIMI HENDRIX SONG YOU TWAT" and I picked up my pint with pride and went back to the gig.

I've always hated people who make RIDICULOUS attempts at trying to be different with their music taste. Not to say I can't sometimes be like that, but that's because some bands older stuff I do genuinely prefer. For example Biffy Clyro. Blackened sky is one of my all time favourite albums, in my eyes they went downhill since that. But I also agree with the public on alot of things. I am partial to some Lady gaga. Oasis are one of my favourite bands. Vol. 3 by Slipknot IS the best.

I went a bit off track there, but the point is I didn't think that there would be an entire trend of people dedicated to being complete cocks. I mean i'm even more partial to like chavs now, at least they like Showtek, Dubstep, deadmau5 and trance?

So what i'm trying to say is

PEOPLE ARE WANKERS

This is the beginning, of the song

Drunken idea's always turn out great, this is a 100% proven fact. Anyhow I found a small male prostitute by the side of the road on Saturday night and we have started a new music Project

It's anamanaguchi style, where we're going to compose chiptune melody's then record real drums, bass and guitar over it.

Anyway, that's what's up

Oh, here's a new cover

http://www.truploader.com/view/309941

Chiptune attempt #6

I maded another chiptune
I find this one less painful to listen too
Covers are easy, so gonna do a few more before actually making own music.

I used to have a lot of problems, then I bought me a walkman

Very few people know I started attempting to make 8 bit nintendo style music, well anyway here's one.

It's not very good, Im just putting it here incase I lose it because it's not finished, the 2 guitars that play in the first 50 minutes sound painful

http://www.truploader.com/view/189244

And i'm reaching my threshold

Alcohol, you are a very evil object
List of recent drunken injuries belonging to me

1. 2nd Degree burns to my hand from falling on a log burner
2. Bruise on side of face from moshing
3. Neck killing me from headbanging
4. Bruise on my side from god knows what
5. Hangovers (Obviously)
6. When I lean forward I feel like I might die (Not sure why, its just really painful in a lot of places)

Watching my friends do the following
1. Cut themselves on glass
2. Fight.
3. Be sick in taxis
4. Be sick on peoples stairs
5. Be sick in bars
6. Be sick on bars
7. Be sick on dancefloors (I admit I done this)

I've had to go get my friends in various locations because they can't move. I've had to been got by my friends before also.
All these negative points
And I still want to drink this.

60% beer. Why? Because Alcohol is fucking awesome. And 60% would get you fucked. To alot this sounds crazy, but i've also seen friendships start and relationships start on night out (Not the kind of relationship story you tell the grand kids however).

Not drinking Alcohol does not put you on some pedastool of being better than anyone, just sayin'. I'd personally not have half the friends if I didn't drink. The positives of alcohol outweigh the negatives. And the funny thing is, all of the above negative things, we have all laughed at, well most.

Stay in school, don't do heavy drugs, and drink. Lots.

Stuff i'm sick of hearing #1

When you say this, I want to kill you

"Oasis are Indy" BRIT POP

"The PS3 will be around for years, we don't have the technology to make games good enough for the ps3". Please fuck off and die if you believe this, because you're retarded

"Gaff" ITS HOUSE OR AT A PUSH, HOME

"Haitch" Its "aitch".. deal with it.

People who pronounce "A" "ah"

I "hacked" their facebook, No you didn't, it was left on in your house, you're not neo.

"Eminem is the best rapper ever/Eminem is a real rapper because he raps about life". I love eminem, but neither of these are true

"Put on a song everyone knows" You mean "Put on a song i know" and no, fuck off

"Guitar hero is nothing like real guitar" Really? I didn't know, genius.

"Lady gaga has a penis" No she doesn't, fuck off

Ok so I did play a considerable amount of games this year, mostly because I was old enough to own an xtra vision card :)

Best Downloadable Game: Scott Pilgrim
Worst game I played this year: Final Fantasy 13
Best DLC: Undead Nightmare
Most ridiculous ending meaning it can't get in this top ten: Assassins creed Brotherhood
Anyway, here's my top 10 of this year.

10. Fable 3

Why?
Low down you might say, well it's your own fucking fault Fable. You build your games up Ridiculously and they stand alone as good games, but nowhere to your ridiculous hype. But it was enjoyable, the last couple of hours were pretty fucking boring though
Top Voice acting however

9. Dante's Inferno

Why?
If I was to give an award to possiby the darkest game I ever played? This would take it hands down. Holy shit, an achievement for killing unbaptised babies? Lethal. But the gameplay and graphics were awesome. The difficulty curve was ridonkulous. Easy was incredibly simple, put it up to medium and it was just stupidity.

8. Dead Rising 2

This was fun

Why?

I really did enjoy this game, but it isn't anything much different than Dead Rising. Sure alot has been changed and multiplayer added in and creation of own weapons. But the most fun thing was the same thing it was in Dead Rising, dressing up in ridiculous outfits and killing Zombies.

7. Fallout: New Vegas

Why?

Ok I really want to put this higher but I can't. Because it's not enough of a change from fallout 3. Which is great, because Fallout 3 was one of the best games i've ever played. But it didn't change the fact you can't play on after you finish the last mission and that really fucking pissed me off. 

6. Mafia 2

Why?

I really really really enjoyed this game. I liked how it started off in the war when that scenery was never to be used again. I liked how the gameplay was slow and the surroundings were dull and boring, then later as time progress's, New york starts to improve after the war, (because you know, america did so much in the war, the attention grabbing fucks), the cars get better, the way they make driving improve because even though your car is slow the speed limits make speed feel so much better etc. I however hated the ending, that really fucked me off, and the fake sense of it being a sandbox, and the ending. I can't stress the ending enough. Oh and some really repetitive missions.

5. Alpha Protocol.

Why?

I really enjoyed this game. I love games that have serious storylines but yet don't take themselves too seriously. Like the cheesy sountrack, turn up the radio in a boss battle. Epic. I also loved the classic structure, mission, mission, mission, side quest, boss battle. I liked the multiple choice factor even if it did oversell what it really was

4. Just Cause 2

Why?

I never played the original Just Cause, therefore the entire thing was new to me. But fuck I loved this game. The map was fucking HUGE. Like ridiculously big, fun gameplay, some repetitive missions however. The voice acting was awful also. BUT IT WAS SO MUCH FUN. Therefore the other stuff is void. If you focus on the voice acting in a game you probably focus on the guy in porn. AKA your a homofuck. Or a woman, I suppose

3. Mass Effect 2

Why?

I'm gonna sound an awful hypocrite here praising the voice acting but I don't care. The story, voice acting, cinematics, battles were all to perfection. However you don't get number #2 or #1 spot because of the ridiculous iron maiden boss battle and the fact you changed the weapons to have ammo. 

2. Fuck you its Halo: Reach

Why?

It's number 2, right? Halo: Reach was awesome. With amazing graphics, a great campaign from start to finish, great online and fun achievements. Much better online than COD. It wins. Haters gonna hate. Let's move on. Also it beats mass effect because its better than any other halo game, whilst mass effect its debatable.

1. Red Dead Redemption.

Why?

Wait, the VGA's, i'm agreeing with them. Yes, red dead redemption has even made it to my top ten games of all time. Its truly the best game this year and there's no arguments about it.

#1 Dream. Sorry

I kind of neglected you blogspot, and I apologise
I've been meaning to write top 10 lists of 2010 and I shall do that
But for now I must tell you, I just woke up because I was having epic dreams and I wish to write them down before I forget.
May it be noted I didn't use english skills in this, I just wrote it down as I remembered

Ok so it started with this girl asking me to do stuff (Of a non sexual favour), first was to kill this guy which I did and she kept asking for more favours and I seemed to know her because I asked where her husband was and she paused, thus I figured out she killed her husband (I will expand on that in my film adoption)

Then her friend came (I forgot to say this happened outside the bank machine at knox's and the girl appeared from the garage in there) then they tried to kill me and I ran across the road. Then the two of them were grabbed in a car, tied up and taken away, I let them go because seconds ago they tried to kill me.

Then i was walking down Rooney road and the car saw me and I put on a balaclava and started to run. I ran up manis' lane and up there I saw an old man who started to walk along side me asking where I lived and saying sure i'll walk with you. At the top of the road there was a few people carrying a small pink Coffin. Then the car came and 3 people got out and started to walk towards me and the old man

I went to punch the leader of the pack and the old man in a old Japanese film fashion had 2 of them in seperate ankle locks. But then he said "No one messes with a mcleary" then it became apparent that the person I had murdered was his son. At this moment the dream ended.

I went back to sleep to try and remember it, but i dreamed about Exploris.